“Miss-call” me?

When I first came to the Middle East and my mobile would ring for a second and then stop or it rings and I immediately pick up only to find that it’s been disconnected.....I would think that the connection was acting up and wait for the caller to call back. When it doesn’t happen, I would call back and we would talk whatever the caller wanted.

Initially, I didn’t mind calling back the caller who gave the “miss call” as I thought it was due to connectivity...blaming the service providers. As time passed, I slowly caught on with the “miss-call” thing. People “miss-call” you because they do not want to spend the money on the call and would rather have you spend on it! Well no more. If people do not have the money to call then they should not. If they need to say something they could text and if it can wait they should wait till they see me. Why should I be the one to call back? I would call if I wanted to say or know something.

I’m ok when friends / colleagues say to me, “We’ll miss-call you” when I’m meeting them at an appointed time/place otherwise I find the “miss-call” rude, cheap & irritating.

Raksha Bandhan

Two days back was “Raksha Bandhan”, a Hindu festival celebrated mainly by the people in the North. This is a festival strengthening the ties between brothers & sisters. (In other parts there’s a similar festival...different date.) The sister ties a "Rakhi" or a sacred thread on her brother’s wrist amidst prayers & good wishes as a symbol for her love for him and the brother takes the responsibilty of protecting her. The thread symbolises a bond of love & trust between brothers & sisters. This need not be between blood relatives only. One could have “Rakhi" brother who may or may not be related at all but the bond is taken very seriously if one promises to be a brother. I find this festival/custom very beautiful and personally feel this could be celebrated by people from all religions.

I miss all the Indian festivals...wish I was home..this day too would have been a holiday and all markets would have had such a festive air as brothers would have been busy buying gifts for their sisters & sisters would have been searching for the perfect "Rakhi" which through the years has become more elaborate & some quite expensive being made in silver & pearls !

Being Single

Jane Austen, “Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor – which is one very strong argument in favour of matrimony…..”

Today, this is not the case with many of us Single Women. We are successful in our career and some of us make more money than the next eligible bachelor. Unfortunately, we are subjected to embarrassing questioning whenever we are in the company of friends, family and even total strangers! Having declared we are single (current status) they want to know why we are not married and then proceeds to give us advises on how the “clock is ticking” …..blah blah….we must “tie the knot”….our future….go through the matrimonial columns in the various newspapers… the marriage portals on the net…blah blah…give your resume…what kind of a guy are we looking?....Tall, fair, Doctor? Engineer?....

We know they mean well, but then….. Personally, at times I just want to tell them to “Shut up”! If it is to happen, it will happen….that’s what I say. I’m not against marriage…it’s just that it hasn’t happened for me. I would like to marry because I want to and not because I have to. If tomorrow Prince Charming comes along and sweeps me off my feet….. I know I will say “Yes!” Till then, I’m happy to go to bed with my books!

Coming to the Middle East

It’s nearly five years.....come September.... since I arrived here in the Middle East. Never thought I would be here so long. Never imagined I would be coming here in the first place. I was going somewhere else….at least was planning to. Then a friend got married……her in-laws were living here in the Middle East…..they invited me over….and to cut a long story short,... I came, I got myself a job and I stayed! How time flies.

In spite of the tax free salary, the basic comforts which one would take for granted here - like the scorching heat which one would not feel it for the air conditioning being so effective,...........I feel my life is put on a hold. Cross cultural friendship is harder to establish here in the Middle East, especially for a single girl. Generally, each nationality would stick among themselves. One even gets paid their salary according to their nationality.........but that’s another story to tell...

Life here, for me has been work, work, work... and for recreation, apart from reading books, watching movies, there’s nothing like Retail Therapy!

Blogger Mafia

To tell you the truth……my “Boss” drove me to Bloggersphere! I knew about them…the Bloggers and their Blogs………but never knew that they had their own Mafia gangs to which they affiliated and belonged! I was happy with my books, TV and emails from friends & family not to mention the occasional chats on MSN ….until I came home from work one frustrating day. I had to vent my feelings…..and what better place than Bloggersphere?!

After entering this world, I’m realizing there’s no going back. I’m getting addicted! A couple of Blogs that I found interesting……….one Arty & the other Academic (Science)……..have their own little circle….one I would call the Card Mafia & the other Science Mafia. I know I don’t belong to any one of these 2 Mafias but think of myself as a Blogger with varied interests! Its fun, it’s interesting & you could see how each of the Mafia Members supports each other by their words of encouragement, comments & advises. I wonder whether I would be pulled into joining any one Mafia…maybe not the ones that I mentioned….maybe there are Bloggers like me……..maybe I could start my own Mafia! Anyone interested?

Darnedest Things Kids Say!

Last summer I stayed for a few days with my College friend now married, on my visit to the Capital. Her young son calls me “Maasi” which is an Aunt from the mother’s side. Like all small boys he was fascinated with my mobile phone (which was of a different model from the ones which his Parents had) and the ipod (my travelling companion)……. and had thousands of questions.

When night came he didn’t want to leave when his mother told him to go to bed….instead he asked if he could sleep with me in the guest room. My friend explained that “Maasi” could not sleep with anyone. Not very convinced, he wondered aloud “What would “Maasi” do when she gets married?”

The Wine Route

Continuing with my travelogue………being in South Africa and not doing the Wine Routes would have been unforgiving! Personally, this was the best part of the visit……..the wine tasting! Hic! ;-) Helen, an Afrikaner from Johannesburg and I drove down…. to some of the finest Wine Estates of South Africa.

Our first stop was NEETHLINGSHOF which is just outside the town of Stellenbosch. The long Pine Avenue leading you to the estate is simply stunning and pictures do not do justice. A picture of the same is reflected in the wine bottles from this estate. We stopped to click pictures for posterity and savoured the view to be locked forever in our memory.

We did our first wine tasting……

Joe was our Wine Guide……….is that what one would call him? Got our first tips on being a Wine Connoisseur……….. the tipping, the sniffing and the rolling of the wine. The RED and the WHITE wines ….Classic Cabernet Sauvignon, Lord Neethling Pinotage…. We tasted 7 or was it 9? different wines. We graded the wines to our liking…..taste, smell, …and Joe of course helped us in distinguishing what the wine was all about and why it was famous and won a particular award and many other things. Not having the heart for spitting such good wines out…. as “Wine Tasters” would do, we left Neethlingshof with a warm, nice & light feeling and a couple of bottles of wines!

Next, KANONKOP – where the big guns roar! That’s what they say and at the gate of the estate there is a huge canon placed and smaller versions scattered everywhere, once when you get in.

At Kanonkop our Wine Hostess ……….I’m trying out different names to call these Professionals………. was a lovely lady by the name of Tina. She took us through some of the estate’s famous red wines….and we now knew why Kanonkop Estate’s Pinotage is so famous!

At the entrance of the doorway there is an interesting inscription explaining what the Pinotage is all about!

“Pinotage is the juice extracted from women’s tongues and lions’ hearts. After having a sufficient quantity one can talk forever and fight the devil.”

Onwards, we drove to the MURATIE WINE ESTATE. The farm echoes old-world hospitality and the environment from the olden days…..as if left untouched……….complete with cobwebs!
We just looked around as we had decided not to taste any more…….we had to get back without getting lost……….Helen was driving while I was navigating……with a map on my lap!

At the gateway to the Franschhoek valley lies the legendary farm of Boschendal and this is where we headed finally. "Bossendaal" (wood and dale) farm, one of the oldest wine producers with a French viticultural heritage.

We soaked in the Art….exhibited (one could buy too!) right next to the café…….looked at the curios & of course the wines!

Lunch was at the Le Café.....outside in the dappled shade of the spreading oaks. Perfect weather & delicious food and far from the Madding Crowd!

After soaking in as much as we could we headed back via Franschhoek Town …………a day filled with wonderful experience that will live with us.... came to an end.

15th August – Independence Day

Today would have been a Day Off for me if I were to have been home in my own country. Instead, I slaved for 9 hours in the office! With lots of the “Forwarded Emails” wishing “Happy Independence Day” since yesterday, I feel more patriotic being away from my country. Festivals, national holidays………..you miss it more…..you feel it more…I especially wore a “Salwar Suit” ………..so did many of my Indian colleagues… with an elaborate “bindi” on my forehead! I am proud to be an Indian!
“JAI HIND!”

Tried but still Prejudiced

South Africa, breath taking ….rolling hills and vast stretches of pristine beaches……. a real picturesque destination! I was there beginning of the year…for 4 weeks! Johannesburg…. Durban…. Sun City… Pretoria …. Cape Town ……..I enjoyed all!

Well meaning “advises” from friends & strangers poured in when they heard that I was travelling to South Africa.

Reaching here even the locals – the Whites & the Indians cautioned me to be “careful”…..to be wary of the Blacks! Why? I hate this racial segregation! In spite of my liberal outlook, I couldn’t help clinging on to my handbag especially when a Black Man passed by. Who was to blame? Myself? The people? The environment? Believe me, I tried but still ended up being prejudiced.

Fashion in the Middle East

I arrived in the Middle East four years back and observing the Local Fashion has been real amusing. As per the local religion and custom, one would think that the custom of dressing modestly by observing the “hijab” so as not to attract any attention especially of the opposite sex is observed here more or less by the local women. Unfortunately this is not the case with many of them. These women attract more attention than the Expats! In the Malls and on the streets one would see women wearing such dramatic makeup which you would usually associate with the Stage Artists. Some would look so comical in the attempt. As for wearing the latest fashion in clothes, nothing could stop them from wearing the skimpiest of the tops or skirts. The spaghetti or sleeveless tops would be worn with long sleeve inner bodies or tee shirts and the short skirts would be worn over a pair of trousers! All these clothes would be real tight which would accentuate all contours of her body. The head scarf or the “hijab” would complete the look but you could notice the elaborate bouffant underneath! Modesty Lost in Translation!?

Security Check

Just the other day I got a mail from an Australian Immigration Agency. They wanted my views on the increased security measures when travelling on a plane or going through an airport which can be annoying to many but I respect the people involved are doing their job to help maintain my safety and that of others. This reminded me of my return flight after visiting my Parents last year. My Parents stay in a bordering state of my country and security is supposedly very tight due to insurgency prevalent there. As I entered the restricted area to check in, (Dad & Bro were left at the periphery) I was approached by a “Cop” and asked whether I would be willing to help. Before I could figure out what to say, I caught sight of Dad inside the enclosure along with another man who turned out to be the “Police Commissioner” – Dad’s friend. I introduced Dad to the “Cop” who explained that he was wondering whether I would/could be a part of a “Mock Exercise”. Dad’s friend assured that it was all “OK” and it would be safe. I was to carry some weapons on me / with me and the test was to see whether these would be detected by the Security People at the Airport. They gave me a pocket knife which I kept in the pocket of my Trousers and a pistol which I carried it in my Handbag. They also gave me a document stating that I was part of the “Mock Exercise” and so I was protected legally. The Pistol came out when the handbag was checked after the x-ray screening was done but the “Lady Cop” who frisked me failed to notice the knife in my pocket. So much for Security!

“Real” Father

My friend who re-married after her first disastrous marriage recently had a showdown with her only child, her son from her first marriage. The son, now a young teen on a visit to his grandparent’s village just found out while being teased by kids of his own age that his father wasn’t his “real” father. Who is a “real” father? Is he the one who left/donated his “sperm” or the one who gives his name and raises the child? How would those other kids have known about this fact as my friend had re-married when her son was just a baby which means that the other kids too would have been babies too or yet to be born? This leaves us with the fact that the elders / parents are the ones still talking about my friend’s second marriage and that too in the presence of their kids. Why is it a stigma to marry a second time especially for a woman in most of our cultures?

Appraisals

If one is not happy with the Performance Appraisal Review, should one write a Rebuttal stating what one feels so that it remains in record? Would the "Boss" hold it against the person? In a huge Company where there are many departments & sub departments, the parameters of judging your capabilities rest solely with the one who you are reporting to. So as not to give a raise nor a promotion one is constantly reminded that you need to be more "pro-active, blah blah blah". It's real frustrating working with such people.