Welcome to the Middle East!

If you see Date Palm Trees here, there, everywhere....then be sure you're in Arab Land! They look gorgeous lining up the long winding road and down the seaside. During the season, trees heavily leaden with yellow dates looks so gorgeous! I love these crunchy dates which is the 2nd stage in the ripening process!

Down Al Corniche!

Internet Censorship in Arab Land

Here in Arab Land, Censorship is at it's height. So many of the sites/pages have been blocked saying that it contains prohibited materials. One would think that the sites or pages one is trying to access contains nudity or is political which would hurt the sensibility of the local people but this is not so. It's real frustrating and nothing can be done as even the proxy pages are blocked!

I seriously fail to fathom on what basis the sites have been banned. To me it seems that the Censorship which should be taken seriously is nothing but a joke in this part of the world. See the below picture and you will know what I mean. Oops!

My Pollignanno Al'Mare

Pollignanno Al'mare, a Brazilian Brand that we carry in our Store is not only sexy, feminine but comfortable! The Brand takes it's name from the small fishing village Polignano a Mare in Italy. It was launched in 2001 by two sisters Fernanda & Juliana.

I just love my Pollignanno Sandals!

Morning walk, down Al Corniche

It's been a long long time....since I had put my thoughts into words. I had promised that I would write....

This morning, woke up & drove down to the corniche. Wanted to see the sun & the sea as I sipped my coffee. Then went for a long walk down by the sea and as I walked, I saw these structures......

.....such inspiring words, to start one's day!

Nonsensical emails from my Boss (NFD) - 6

Your mailbox is full because you are stupid.

830MB

Your mailbox can no longer send messages as your emails are really boring. Please reduce your mailbox size. Delete all items because you don't need them, nobody is interested in them. Empty your mailbox and empty your Deleted Items folder and concentrate all of your attention on Facebook.

Reply to NFD - 5

From: Betty@forwarders.com
Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 4:14 PM
To: NFD
Cc: CAF; MH; SH
Subject: Expeditors Mileage Programme

Britney Spears is out of the office due to excessive banging of her head on her desk resulting in immediate need of an MRI (this too, will be debited to all involved awards programme holders) and will consequently be committed to the nearest mental rehabilitation facility (we've been advised of a good one at Mercedes R/A in Zai building).

Please refrain from any further emails in this regard as they will go unanswered.

Should you feel the need to express condolences to her condition, you may offer this in the conveniently setup form, in triplicate, on the Aramex website (which sometimes works).

Nonsensical emails from my Boss (NFD) - 5

From: NFD
Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 3:14 PM
To: 'Betty@forwarders.com'
Cc: CAF; MH; SH
Subject: RE: Expeditors Mileage Programme

Dear Ms Spears,

Noted that you have debited our account.

I have read through the scheme conditions and note that we are now at the Cardboard Level; we await our new cards for our members.

Also I see that our gift entitlement is now limited to an eraser and a cheque book cover, the latter will hardly be used.

As your graphic illustration shows the peak and trough of our situation we have been engaging with some other Logistics providers to assess their Gift schemes and found the following:

1. Expedalbikers - " you'd be surprised how slow we go" are offering lower rates but can't guarantee any delivery this year.

2. Bodgit and Leggit - "You'd be surprised if it arrived" are offering 500-1 odds on it arriving at all

3. S/Crew-U - "We'd be surprised if it arrived" are offering a hand crafted paperweight featuring the extended middle digit for business cards ease of use.

4. Viagra Falls - "We stick out for you" are offering a tripod

Kind Rear Guards
Mr.Nil Points

+++++ Kindly note that our weekend - is longer than yours ++++++

Reply to NFD - 4

From: Betty@forwarders.com
Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 12:22 PM
To: NFD
Cc: CAF; MH; SH
Subject: Expeditors Mileage Programme

Thank you, Mr. NFD, for your recent request relating to the Awards account at Expeditors International.

Unfortunately, the individual that was supporting the awards offering was recently (as of yesterday), relieved of her duties and facing criminal charges for offering too much for too little.

In a recent Arthur Anderson audit that was conducted (perhaps you are familiar with this strong financial auditing organization - they were the primary accountancy and auditing team for Enron), it was established that rewards were given out for decreasing spend/points accumulation. This indication was clear in preferential and subjective treatment to certain clients.

We've attached a 10 month graph of your activity for your convenience.

Therefore, we have actually debited you for the awards given. Although we understand the inconvenience this may pose to your organization during these dire global economic times, we appreciate your understanding in the matter.

And, unfortunately, the 20% discount coupons previously received from NBK were not sufficient to cover this need.

We look forward to your response and appreciate your involvement in the Expeditors Awards Programme.




Betty
Director of Points and Various other Crap that no one wants to handle
Email: figure.itout@expediters.net
Telephone: 1-800-not-gonna-happen

Nonsensical emails from my Boss (NFD) - 4

From: NFD
Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 12:04 PM
To: MH; Betty@forwarders.com
Cc: SH; CAF
Subject: Expeditors Mileage Programme

Thanks for the flask, very usefull in Ramadan.
Can you send us your corporate catalogue so we know what we are entitled to for our next gift?
Not sure how many points we have so far - please check our balance of Expeditor miles, I guess it's based on miles our cargo travels. So we should be up to bronze level?

"You'd be surely prized on how far we go for you" is your corporate tag line?

Cheers
Retail Stationery Collector

+++++++ Kindly note that Sunday - Thursday is our weekend ++++++

Happy @ work?

This morning, one of my colleague from the Buying Dept forwards me this picture with the caption "Happy @ work?"

I immediately replied, copy to my Boss.
"Ha ha ha! Good one! Place an order immediately!
Boss, I highly recommend these funky contraptions!"