Nonsensical emails from my Boss (NFD) - 5

From: NFD
Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 3:14 PM
To: 'Betty@forwarders.com'
Cc: CAF; MH; SH
Subject: RE: Expeditors Mileage Programme

Dear Ms Spears,

Noted that you have debited our account.

I have read through the scheme conditions and note that we are now at the Cardboard Level; we await our new cards for our members.

Also I see that our gift entitlement is now limited to an eraser and a cheque book cover, the latter will hardly be used.

As your graphic illustration shows the peak and trough of our situation we have been engaging with some other Logistics providers to assess their Gift schemes and found the following:

1. Expedalbikers - " you'd be surprised how slow we go" are offering lower rates but can't guarantee any delivery this year.

2. Bodgit and Leggit - "You'd be surprised if it arrived" are offering 500-1 odds on it arriving at all

3. S/Crew-U - "We'd be surprised if it arrived" are offering a hand crafted paperweight featuring the extended middle digit for business cards ease of use.

4. Viagra Falls - "We stick out for you" are offering a tripod

Kind Rear Guards
Mr.Nil Points

+++++ Kindly note that our weekend - is longer than yours ++++++